so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
