oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Randomize
