I could make wine with my vomit
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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