Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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