Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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