We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
