omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
