He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
