Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
