My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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