you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
