sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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