Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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