We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
