I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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