Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
