if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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