I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
the day after is always just damage control
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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