I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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