Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
