Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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