At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
