i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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