The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
