the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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