Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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