My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
