If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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