No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
