I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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