Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
