Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
