Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i will never coherently bang her
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
