Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
