after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
