The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
