I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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