If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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