Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Randomize
