Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
