Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
