I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
