i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
