fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
this boner is exhausting
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
