it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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