In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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