Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
