I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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