sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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