tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
oh god was she eating orange peels again
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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