please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
