i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
