i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize